


Definitely Not Hatred

by juiceboxjellyfish



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown 2019, M/M, Oblivious Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce Knows, Penelope Bunce is tired of snowbaz's bullshit, Prompt: Witch/Psychic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21760891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juiceboxjellyfish/pseuds/juiceboxjellyfish
Summary: Penny casts a spell on herself that allows her to feel the emotions of people around her and soon realises that Simon and Baz, despite their claims, don't actually hate each other.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 12
Kudos: 159
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	Definitely Not Hatred

PENELOPE

“C’mon Penny, is this really a good idea? I never cast spells on myself”, Simon says.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d blow your head off. I’ve got this under control! Besides, don’t you want to know if it works?”

Simon frowns. 

“I guess so… I just don’t like it. How long is it supposed to last anyway?”

I lower my hand for a moment. I don’t actually know (it wasn’t mentioned in the book) but Simon’s already so concerned, so I don’t tell him.

“No longer than a couple of days, I’m sure. Now stop talking and let’s do this!”

I place my hand over my heart, drawing my magic up. 

“I feel you”, I say, pushing it back into myself. It gathers in what feels like a glowing orb inside my chest, rises to my head, and then fades.

“Did it work?”, Simon asks, and I feel a faint, detached sense of concern, immediately followed by a very real rush of excitement. 

“I think so, yeah!”

I can feel Simon’s relief, which causes another rush. It worked! 

“Really? That’s so cool!”

“I know! I can feel your excitement!”

“ _So cool!_ ”

“So what do they feel like? My emotions?”, Simon asks once we’ve calmed down.

“Distant. I can feel them clearly, but they don’t feel like they’re mine. Kind of like I’m disassociating – I feel that they’re there, but I don’t _feel_ them, y’know?”

“I think so… What am I feeling right now?”

I close my eyes and focus, but I just feel normal. Relaxed, content, and pleased with myself, but no Simon feelings.

“I can’t tell.”

“I guess the emotions have to be more intense for it to work, then.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

He hums in agreement. 

When he comes to breakfast the next day, anxiety is flowing from him, hitting me in waves. 

“Did you sleep well?”, I ask. (Mostly to be polite – I can feel the exhaustion.) He just shrugs.

“Simon, I can feel your feelings”, I remind him. 

“Right, forgot about that”, he sighs. “Nope. Nightmares. I was tossing and turning all night, I feel like I haven’t slept at all.”

“Yeah. I feel it. Coffee?”

“Don’t think I can make it through the day without it.”

I pour him a cup and he drinks it in silence. I knew he had nightmares, I knew he didn't sleep as much as he should, but he always talked about it so lightly. I had no idea he was this affected by it, and even though I know he knows I can feel it, I don’t know how to bring it up. So I just change the topic. 

“By the way, you’re not gonna believe what Trixie did yesterday. Like I know your roommate might want to kill you but I would honestly switch with you any day. So, you know how I always complain about her fairy dust?”

As I continue my lighthearted rant, I feel Simon’s nightmare-induced anxiety fading. Good to know.

I wish I could talk to him about it but since I don’t know what to say, I’ll settle for knowing how to calm him down.

One thing I should’ve considered before spelling myself emotionally psychic is how much time I as a student spend in close proximity to other people, specifically stressed teenagers. Luckily for me I only managed to give myself a short range, but it’s still a bit overwhelming. When a teacher reminds us of a deadline, I feel so many simultaneous spikes of panic that I almost forget that I’m nearly finished and have nothing to worry about.

Simon rants about Baz so much. So often. When Baz hasn’t done anything, Baz rants about how he’s totally about to do something. I believe that Baz is a vampire, slightly evil, and an annoying roommate, but I have a hard time believing that he’s constantly working on some great plot against Simon. He’s just a guy, and he has other interests, and he’s always competing with me to be at the top of our class. I used to think Simon was truly too caught up in their overdramatic rivalry to think of Baz as anything but an enemy and a constant threat, but his feelings don’t match his words.

Every time he’s ranted about Baz since I cast the spell, I’ve been right next to him with full access to his emotions, and I’ve come to a conclusion I doubt he’s aware of. _He doesn’t hate Baz._

He’s annoyed by him.

Frustrated.

He’s definitely worried about the vampire thing.

But he doesn’t hate Baz.

The spell lasts longer than a couple of days. They really should include that in the instructions, because if this is permanent I will lose my mind. It’s been a week, and I’m so tired of feeling stressed about other people’s problems.

Simon says I should spend less time in his room (because it’s against the rules) but he always lets me in. We’re on his bed practicing a spell for class when Baz walks in. This triggers a spike of emotion from Simon, stronger than anything I’ve felt since I first cast the spell. It’s so intense that I instinctively turn back to look at Simon instead of Baz, who I really should be more concerned with at the moment. Whatever Simon felt when Baz walked in fades as suddenly as it started and is replaced by the usual irritation. It passes so quickly that I can’t identify it, but I’m sure it wasn’t hate. It didn’t even feel negative… quite the opposite. It’s not until Baz gets closer that it really hits me. Because I feel it from Baz too, except it’s stronger with him. It’s strong and consistent and honestly quite overwhelming, and while Simon doesn’t even seem to have noticed his own response, there’s no way Baz has escaped his. 

“Oh”, I exclaim. “ _Oh!_ ”

“What?”, Simon asks, but I don’t get a chance to answer, because Baz threatens to tell a teacher I’m sneaking into the boys’ dorms before I can even open my mouth. So I just leave, my head spinning with all this new information. 

By Merlin, they’re idiots.

Should I tell Simon?

I probably shouldn't intervene. It is his personal business… but on the other hand, it’ll take forever if I leave him to figure it out on his own.

Maybe just a nudge.

He catches up to me only five minutes later.

“Baz says he won’t tell on you unless he catches you in there again”, he pants. “So we’re good for now.” He pauses to catch his breath. “What was that about, by the way?”

“What was what about?”

“Baz walked in and you went ‘oh’, like you'd just realised something. What was that about?”

“Oh.” I really haven't finished contemplating wether or not I should tell him yet. “Well, the spell lasted longer than a couple of days, first of all.”

“You’re still psychic?”

“I don’t know if it technically counts as being psychic but yes.”

“So? What did you feel? Or, what did Baz feel? Why were you so shocked? Should I be worried?”

Fuck it. 

“It’s more about what you felt, actually.”

“What… _I_ felt?”

I nod. “You don’t hate Baz.”

“Yes I do. We’re enemies.”

“Simon, I can feel your emotions. I have not felt a single ounce of hatred towards Baz from you all week, not even when he barged into the room and threw me out. You don’t hate him.”

“Then what do I feel?”, he asks. I don’t want to tell him, and a wave of panic that isn’t mine tells me he’s more aware than I thought.

“That’s for you to figure out, I think.”

They’re idiots, but with just enough of a push they should be able to get there. I just hope the spell’s worn off by the time they do.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Penny, having to put up with their bs
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please do leave a comment!


End file.
